Dear Journal.

I know it's silly to address a piece of paper as a person, but you, my tattered old book, have been my only friend for a while, although that is changing now. I never thought I'd be here... never thought I'd survive. Not that I had much for the blight to take from me. Don't get me wrong, I loved my family dearly. However, they felt ashamed of their misfit blood. They cast me out first. In Kin Home, we, of course, lived in a tight group. For me, it was my parents, my brother, an Aunt and uncle with their two sons, and myself. There were a few families that we lived near who were considered close as family. And while everyone has their own individuality, I was different. I loved nature and still do, that wasn't the issue, and I like the look of jewelry, which also isn't a big issue for a lot of Thrae, since some adorn their antlers. But I have always wanted to learn to fight. To train my strength, to be able to use a weapon with swiftness and grace. To hold up a shield and protect others. Especially those who can't protect themselves. I have been in that rank. Ridiculed, made fun of, bullied and judged at every turn. I wasn't physically abused, aside from being tripped now and then or getting pelted by thrown items. The older members just gave me looks rife with disappointment and embarrassment. I'll spare you the rest of the details. Needless to say, I was cast aside. I set off, resting in different areas for short times, seeing if, perhaps, I'd find a new home. Somewhere I belonged. This went on a while, until I found Shimmerhaven. I liked it there. I was more welcomed, though the Thrae I came into contact with there thought it strange that I refused to saw off my antlers. But I love the way they look and wanted to keep them. So, in their eyes, I was hopelessly old-fashioned and out of touch. So while I could devour the pages of books to my heart's content, grow and tend trees and plants, and train if I desired, I still got strange looks and raised eyebrows from a good many people. I'm just as comfortable in a city environment as I would be sleeping outdoors. I also enjoy fashion, though I don't like particularly loud and eye-popping colors. I don't like clashing, though I love colors, and wish I could wear more. But having that very different taste was yet another point against me, though nobody ever actually said anything about it, at least not to my face. Shortly after I settled in Shimmerhaven, the blight came. I ran. Somehow, some way, I escaped. But the echoes of weeping and screams of panic will follow me always. As I mentioned, things are starting to change. Somehow, I have found a city. Most likely the only city that's left, though I can't possibly know that for certain. I'm still half afraid that the blight will find a way in here as well. I can't... think of that. I have to keep faith that it won't. I've made some friends here, though I'm still afraid to truly open up to them. They seem so... kind and open. So, so welcoming, and no doubt everyone here has been through something or other. How could they not? It's not that I think they would shun me, it's just that those reactions are mostly all I've ever known. Maybe it's hard for most people to simply cast all their fear aside. But I have to now. I have to try, anyway. I've settled here and even joined the vanguard. It's hard work, but not work I dislike. And the practicing feels good. I don't know if I'll ever be able to realize more of my desires, but for now, I'm just thankful to have found this place and these folks, thankful for our shelter and relative safety, for their are creatures sneaking around the city, but that's what we are here for. To help protect. I hope... I want... to open up more. To be accepted for who I am. And I will try. I will train and practice. I will fight. I will do my best to stand at the ready and defend.